Does anyone want to tell me if I was getting stupider

Too easy. Too easy.

I want to fuck you like an animal

Fuck on a stick.

Purity rings?

YFNDB has read that purity rings are to symbolize saving sex until marriage.

YFNDB is truly horrified by this.

I have some questions:

Is it okay to chronically masturbate while wearing a purity ring?

If one does chronically masturbate, do you have to put the purity ring on your non-jerking/fingering hand?

Is a blow-job covered by a purity ring, or is that an exception?

If penetration is the guideline for sex, then is all penetration sex, or is sodomy okay?

What about finger-banging?

What about finger-banging while wearing said purity ring?

How about using a purity ring as a cock ring?

Is a purity ring for straight or gay sex?

What about bestiality?

By the constantly befuddled and vapid stares exhibited by the Gonad Brothers, I’d say someone is getting fucked somewhere (cough, cough, Disney).

So she can see you coming, all you dirty rotten guys

People, people, people, what do I have to do to keep things in focus? Cornboy and I have already discussed what is and is not sexist behavior. The “lipstick on a pig” comment is not sexist. The Supreme Domina, Mizz Palin is the one who first mentioned lipstick. And for the record, the only difference between Mizz Palin and a pit-bull is not the lipstick, but how soon you have to put it down after it bites someone it shouldn’t.

Now you may ask, what makes Cornboy and me an authority on sexism? Well, I’ll tell ya.

Cornboy and I both survived the mind-bending torture of buxom catholic school girls wearing crucifixes at the crest of their semi-exposed cleavage and then having to watch them hike up their skits as they bounded off to unknown mischief and mayhem when school let out.

Cornboy and I more than appreciate AND respect all the wily tortures the ladies subject us to.

Remember, respect is earned, not given. The Supreme Domina has not earned our respect.

As for some other clarifying notes.

One may ask, why, when you slap said strumpet on the tushy, why do you ask for a ham sandwich? Why not turkey? Why not a peanut butter and jelly? Look at this way, if one is going to exhibit piggish behavior – then one should ask for pig. And before some of you get your panties in a bunch, one the most sexist individuals I have ever known was a horny little lesbian who would bird-dog the ladies while having a beer with you.

I am not sure, or convinced that the Supreme Domina is a witch. I this is true, then this saddens me. I have great respect for witches. My grandmother was an Irish Witch, I myself married an Irish Witch and a good friend of mine is dating an Irish Witch.

I counter Cornboy’s point and offer up the idea that Mizz Palin is in fact Succubus (without the good looks).

Brass tacks, this is sexist:

And if you don’t know why, then I can’t help you.

She didn’t have to hang around

Ok, now back to the Supreme Domina, Mizz Palin, or as some have taken to calling her, the “Trophy Vice.” I can dig that.

As a quick aside and truth be told, there are more important and articulate writers and blogs such as Maureen Dowd and The Huffington Post offering up intelligent and thoughtful discourse on Mizz Palin.

I’m telling you right now, don’t expect that. The focus here is the vetting of Mizz Palin and her obvious dominatrix ways.

As we have seen, the Supreme Domina has risen to a position of power and quickly. Conventional wisdom (or to be accurate, misogynistic wisdom) would dictate that this was achieved through the subtle art of blow-jobs. I don’t see that. In fact, I don’t see the Supreme Domina giving blow-jobs at all, even to her husband, Todd “No Balls” Palin. And if she were to give a blow-job, I don’t think it would be very good – not with that curled sneer constantly on her face. What man would trust his cock in her mouth? No, the Supreme Domina would never deign to get on her knees to attain a better position in a job or to move up the political ranks.

I suspect, many a poor local jamoke up in Alaska were dying for a taste of Mizz Palin, and in return received a quick hand-job. I believe it was these very hand-jobs that stirred the dominate ways in Mizz Palin. Think about it, there’s the Supreme Domina, all dolled up in her business attire with a cock in her hand and the sudden realization, “Fuck, I’m in Charge Here.” It doesn’t take much folks. I imagine in those early days, office supplies such as staple removers and binder clips where the early torture toys for the Supreme Domina.

Don’t touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn’t understand…

 

Let’s take a quick break from the Supreme Domina Mizz Palin and acknowledge greatness when it emerges in times of darkness.

 
Oh hell yeah – I need me one of those shirts. The man is back! Groovy.

 

 

I’m safe in here

Kudos to Mizz Palin on her speech. She did what she had to do – scratch that – did what she was told to due by the white males running the show and went after Senator Obama like the good attack dog she is. Maybe she has a little Sub in her after all for – a little power exchange anyone? Or, the RNC threw her some meat to pound on later- seems more likely, doesn’t it?

What I am curious about though is who fathered her children (maybe a DNA test should be part of the vetting process). I can’t see Todd “No Balls” Palin pumping enough juice out of those squished nads of his to pollute the earth with five children.

Oh – special thanks to Crusader and Cornboy for their venerable commentary.

I’ve gone and done it again

Ok, a brief very diatribe on sexism.

The media’s treatment of Mizz Palin is not sexist.

Obama questioning Mizz Palin’s ability to govern is not sexist.

Hell, even my musings on whether Mizz Palin is the Supreme Domina is not sexist – more of an astute observation truth be told.

And the last person who should be chiming in about sexism is Carly Fiorina. Carly didn’t damn near ruin HP because she’s a woman, she damn near ruined HP because she’s a fucking idiot.

Sexism is slapping Mizz Palin on the ass and telling her to make a ham sandwich and make it quick.

Speaking of which, I’m hungry.

You get me closer to god

To stay on topic for a change, I’d like to continue the conversation about Mizz Palin and offer up some questions to fully vet her. Now mind you, these are based on the assumption that she is the supreme Domina.

1. Is she the rattan cane or the whip type? With that severe librarian look she has going on, I say rattan cane. But feel free to disagree.

2. Does she prefer leather, PVC, or latex? This is a tough one, I’ll defer to my bondage experts on this one.

3. Is she into CBT? By the constantly neutered look Todd Palin has, I would say yes. And heaven help that poor fool who knocked up her daughter. I see a stompin’ coming his way – and that’s if it hasn’t happened already – my guess, his balls look like bruised plums and this is the only grandkid he’ll produce.

4. Does Mizz Palin use a strap-on when dominating Todd? Once again, I say yes. I have no doubt that Mizz Palin dolls Todd up and rams him straight through an igloo.

5. How rough can you see Mizz Palin getting with Cindy “hot pink cast” McCain? I say this could be quality Pay-Per-View material here. And before you even start, yes I am assuming Mizz Palin is bi. It’s not because she’s a Domina, but I respectively ask, what former beauty queen contestant hasn’t gone down on her fellow competitors?

Hello, hello, it’s good to be back, it’s good to be back

Fresh from taking the summer off, YFNDB is back and ready to cause some mischief. I’ll keep it brief today, so let’s get down top brass tacks.

Is it me, or does Sarah Palin look like a dominatrix who is probably great at fetish?

Probably whips that shit out of the puss husband of hers – yeah?

If you live on this planet you’re guilty…

Here a few things that are bugging the hell out of me.

The Fourth of July. I don’t get or like this holiday. What are we celebrating? America’s independence from England? Big fucking deal. Every year people stuff themselves full of hot dogs, sodas, and other carcinogens and get distracted by fireworks. That’s right – distracted. It doesn’t take much to distract Americans from the truth. Some loud noises and shiny lights will do the trick.

Now, what are we really celebrating – the day a bunch of rich, white slave owners didn’t want to take orders from a bunch of rich, white, religious land owners? Wow. Great accomplishment guys. And to make it worse, we broke away from some of the finer traits the English have to offer – the ability to read, write and their dry sense of humor. I put it to you that we got cheated. We should have negotiated for more: “we’ll take this fine land (we’ll finish off the Indians ourselves) and your ability to communicate.” At least we would have ended up with a President who can speak English. Actually no, because I don’t there’s anything you can do with someone from Texas.

What the Fourth of July should really be about is all of America’s accomplishments when it comes to independence: the end of slavery, women’s right to vote, Roe vs. Wade, the Civil Rights movement, and gay marriage. If America is going to set a day aside to pat itself on the back for being strong and independent – then we should celebrate it all. This selective memory shit has to end.

* * *

If one thing needs to stop, it’s this: Putting memorials of the dearly departed on the back window of a car. Are people too fucking cheap to buy a plot or tombstone, so instead they get some stickers made up instead? Enough of this already. And if these stickers are to exist, then they only belong on hearses.

You always get the sense that the person who died was a “really special person” who touched and changed the lives all of those around them. Fine. Great. How about this instead – if said individual was so extraordinary, then emulate them on a daily basis. Be charitable, be kind, and let people know why and who you are emulating. Now if the person who died happened to be an angry, sodomizing drunk, you may want to re-think that one.

Here’s a business idea – remembering the dead on bumper stickers. That may curb (or encourage) tailgating – are you going drive too close to someone’s memorial?

* * *

I’m sick and tired of a group of sports fans collecting calling themselves a nation. You have the Raider Nation and the Red Sox Nation. Other than supporting the Raiders or the Red Sox, what other criteria do you need to be part of these nations – being loud, fat, drunk and stupid? I’m not a big fan of war, but I say let’s bomb the shit out of these nations.

On a weird convergence of remembering the dead and sports – sports themed urns, coffins or being buried at your favorite stadium is just fucking pathetic. In Europe, graveyards are actually being built next to soccer stadiums so someone can be planted next to their favorite team.

* * *

Ralph Nader says Obama tries to “talk white.” As if talking “black” makes someone less intelligible. No. We should never correlate “talking white” with being intelligent. This is a false assumption.

Ralph Nader “talks white”. He’s ignorant, thoughtless and self-absorbed.

Fuck Ralph Nader and his two dollar suits.