And we’re very, very pissed off
A lot has happened in the world since YFNDB checked in and offered an opine. I’ve been tempted to chat about many, many things, but it’s time to establish guidelines for something of the utmost importance: Slapping Offenses.
Now this is not as easy as it sounds. Who gets slapped and for what? What kind of a slap? How hard of slap? How many slaps? This is important shit here.
It’s quite simple actually, there are some things people do/say that are so offense that someone just needs to haul off and crack ‘em upside the head.
So with that, this is one topic that will not be resolved in one go. I encourage folks to contribute offenses and the requisite punishment when they feel the need.
(And since I know you’re curious, kicks to the head and other forms of punishment will be addressed at a later date – one thing at time here folks.)
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In the past, I stated that Sonny Perdue deserved to slapped hard when he prayed for rain when Georgia was in the midst of a draught. Never mind that he’s the ‘guvner of a hurricane rich state. Yes, you read that correctly, hurricane rich state. How in the fuck does a state go dry when that much goddamned water falls on it is beyond me. Anyway, what triggered the need for the slapping criteria was when John Baldwin proposed to his ice dancing partner (a fucking turd of a sport) Rena Inoue on the ice after their US Championship performance. If there was ever a slapping offense, this is the one. I can’t even explain how vomitice this whole scenario is.
On a side note, it would have been great is she had hauled off and cracked him and cried: “No, fuck you, I wanna skate pairs where at least I can get a thumb shoved up my ass! Screw you and this cutesy ass-dancing shit!”
Oh well…
John Baldwin deserves a good ol’ fashioned Nun Slap. And for you non-Catholics, this is when Sister Gonna Break Your Skull starts up high (those fingers touching the sound of thunder) and comes down hard and mean with the intent to slap you to hell.
Oh, to be completely piggish, crude and hypocritical, if ever, even in an alternate universe, Misty May and Kerri Walsh were ever to pull this stunt – I’m totally cool with it. They’re in the Slapping Hall of Fame with those congratulatory swats on the tushies they always give each other. Outstanding.
Ok kids, that means we have two criteria for slapping:
Egotistical Christian Politician = Cricket Bat Slap
Sports Partner Marriage Proposal = Nun Slap
Yanno I would have been a lot more interesting if Brian B. and Scott H. had locked lips and announced an engagement!
Here… this sould make you feel better from the North Bay Movie Snob…